Cat's out of the bag

So, I have told everybody at work this week about baby # 2. Everyone seemed to be excited and excepted it well. I was reminded that if I return to work after my maternity leave, I will be back right before Christmas. Let me tell you, I am just way too excited about that. For those of you who may not know, Christmas is the busiest/worse possible time in the retail industry. It means working Saturdays and whatever else to make sure everything is prepared for the holidays. I work in the corporate office, so weekends are not my usual schedule. So, I will miss all the preparation and come in on the tail end of it and be responsible for what happened while I was away. Hopefully I can prepare enough before I have to leave.

The president of my company has 6 daughters, and informed me that it gets a lot more difficult going from 1 to 2. He said after the second one it kind of stays the same, but that going from 1 to 2 is a big adjustment in your workload and way of life. He asked if I was coming back to work, to which I replied "well, I hope so". And he told me I'll have to see how my life works out with two and what I can handle. Did he honestly think I would tell him "probably not" with 6 more months of work ahead of me? So, it seems like he was very open to the possibility that I may not be able to juggle everything. We will certainly find out! It was stressful trying to come back to work with Caden when I was still getting up with him every 3 hours. I can't imagine doing that and having to handle a toddler's drama. It's the exhaustion that makes it so difficult. It's not like I can take a nap at my desk, slack off, ask somebody to take over for me for an hour, wear my pajamas all day, and not touch my hair and forget to brush my teeth. Do those things and I am certainly out the door.
I've been exhausted just in my first trimester of pregnancy, it is so much worse with a crying baby you feed every 2 hours and no sleep at all. I have for a moment fallen asleep with my head in my hands at my desk during this pregnancy. There were definitely days when I thought I might pull a George move from Seinfeld and get under my desk to take a nap for awhile. At least the exhaustion is starting to get better as I move into my 2nd trimester. I can only imagine (and dread) the exhaustion that will come with two children. Think happy thoughts, Ashley, happy thoughts! Well, enough of my rambling for the day, the stresses/anxiety of life and the unknown paths that are ahead of me have just been getting to me a little lately!